i'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world

by it-clings

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double CD in digipak dvd case with bonus 10" x 14" poster!

no one had any idea what was unleashed upon the world with the creation of it-clings. the very idea seemed insane, and to be perfectly honest, people couldn't understand it all at first, but now there is no denying that rock n' roll supergod it-clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind -- as he has become known to a million screaming teenage girl fans -- is the ultimate phenomenon. and despite all the lies that the mainstream media have not been spreading about him, it-clings has become the driving force behind the world, and at the same time its biggest critic.

it-clings is like the hottest new blockbuster, the latest internet trend, a new fad diet, and half a dozen apocalyptic cult leaders all wrapped in some big stars vagina, shoved into a gold tipped silver bullet and shot down the large hadron collider toward destiny.

all of this is plainly displayed in his latest monstrosity of a double ep, 'i'm the biggest fucking thing in the world fucking world'. an album he never wanted to write, but felt compelled to confess. yes, it's all true!

but can even the legendary it-clings do it all alone? you may think yes, but you'd be totally wrong. to take on this world he has gathered around him, like a pile of lecherous parasites, a smattering of musical artists of different styles, who have been blessed with the mission of turning it-clings words into song. features guest appearances by greg kowalczyk (compUterus), dan barrett (worms of the earth), bart piette (dead man's hill), jorge oliveira (thermidor), justin brink (pneumatic detach), en & arc (dym), autovoice, adam edge (razor edge), yann faussurier (iszoloscope, memmaker), nick gorman (fractured), jonny darko (receiver), fred s. (katastroslavia) james church (lucidstatic), ethan moseley (promonium jesters), & jonbob!

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released October 26, 2012

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bugs crawling out of people Halifax, Nova Scotia

With a wide range of music, Canadian Industrial label doesn't follow any trends or style. The point is to release high quality music that goes beyond. From dark ambient, to brutal noise, from EBM to breakcore. Bugs Crawling out of People sees no limit.

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Track Name: the centre of your quantum dots of focus (back lit by compUterus mix)
I think about books and I realize I'm the main character in this one. I think about trees and I think that even though they may be amongst the largest living things on this planet, they are nothing but wood and leaves compared to me. and I think about the great inventors and I think boring, and I think about the great painters and I realize that they should have painted pictures of me, and I think about philosophers and I think if they were so great, why didn't they think about me, and jesus and I think, I am like twice a trinity, I'm like a trinity and a backup trinity with some real ideas, some real meaning. I think about porno and I agree with you, although, I'd rather just watch me, up here on stage grabbing my cock, instead of all alone at home, downloading more and more pornography. and when the facts hit me square in the face, when the truth comes after me I just say 'hold on hold on, don't you know who I am' and when the truth says 'yes' I cut the truth short and say 'fuck you mother fucker, I don't need to hear it, I don't even want to think about it. I'd rather just focus on what I'm saying here." and I think of dinosaurs and I think, they probably had small dicks, and I think about zeus and I think you're the past, for all your thunderbolts where are you now? odin? amun? marduk? jehovah? maybe you're a new energy drink or something like that. no one really gives a fuck about you. I don't fucking hear you yelling. you're the past mother fucker and I think of jesus again and he's the past too, and allah, well, maybe he’s the present, praise be his name, but you know what, I'm looking towards the future and there's no space in there for him. his candle is getting to the end too. and now let's look into the future with this bright gleaming florescent light that is It-Clings, ok, it might not give life to your pale insipid complexion , but nevertheless it's glowing brightly from the future, powered by some savvy technology that we can't even dream about here, like wind power or something. you know, I think about whales and I'm bigger and I think of the burj khalifa and I'm taller and I think of the pyramids and my construction is more unbelievable and when aliens look down from space the great wall of china is nothing but a squiggly line compared to me, and pluto it’s a speck compared to my ego and I would crush jupiter with my gravitational field. don't you understand mother fuckers, I'm fucking It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and not some speck, I'm not even a clump, or a hefty residue. I'm the focus of the picture, I'm the centre of the frame, I'm the centre of your quantum dots of focus, I'm the thing your camera highlights, I'm the highlight of the camera of life, I'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world. if you were to pay attention for even one fucking second, you'd be focusing on me. if you cared about anything you'd care about me. if you loved anything or anyone you'd love me. if you had any point or purpose you're point and purpose would be to think about how fucking awesome I am, to make me look good, to make me look like this whole fucking existence was worth one fuck. your only redemption is through me. your only chance of purpose is through me. this whole thing, all this bullshit, all this absurdity, everything, is just for me. this is what it's about. this is the end of it all. it's just about me. me me me! don't you know who I am mother fucker? me! it's about me! that's it. you and everything are nothing. you don't exist. you’re a ghost, a mirage, a fairy tale. every fucking thing is about me! me!
Track Name: so you think you know it-clings motherfucker (not your average jimmy dean mix by pneumatic detach)
good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am It-Clings. a lot of you probably know me by my full title, rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind. yes, yes, you already know a lot about me; perhaps you've followed me so closely that you think you know everything. you probably think I'm a pretty angry individual. you probably think this album is going to be full of me screaming and cursing and condemning everything as being the complete and utter shitpile that it is and normally you'd be right, but now in this new world of hopes and dreams you're actually completely fucking wrong. on this track I'm going to ignore the truth and this time tell you a little fairy tale about happiness, true happiness, not the happiness you achieve from devoting every free second you have to drinking copious amounts of alcohol, not the happiness you could achieve from all that money that you wish you had, not the happiness you could achieve from getting you're cock sucked by 3 sloppy underage bitches at once... although maybe you don't get you cock sucked by 3 sloppy underage bitches at once. maybe you don't have that much cock, maybe you don't know enough jailbait hoes... maybe both. ignore that part, if you can't relate. but fuck that, what I'm talking about here is the only real happiness that's available to you, hey buck up there, at least some fucking happiness is available. I found it myself, the other day when I stepped out of the shower, all wet and glistening, onto a clean dry bathmat. it's not normally dry and it most certainly is not normally clean and in that I found happiness. you see, happiness can only be found in the insignificant. why do they always make us try to focus on the important? on doing something, in attempting to do something important? let’s fuck that! let's turn away from anything that is definitive, let's focus on the trivial, let's focus on those fleeting moments that don't mean jack shit. the real truth is: the worthless moments are the only moments worth thinking about. tonight you may go out and actually have a half decent time, fuck you may actually laugh. this may be the best it's going to get. why don't you focus on that. remember when you almost shit your pants, and didn't? yeah, joy! remember when that guy said to you "fuck you," and you turned around and said, "no, fuck you!" ok, sure, he beat the shit out of you, but that moment of defiance was pure fucking joy. now wait a second, when you begin to embrace this, you're going to feel like shit at first, you're going to say "is this all there is? how pathetic and shitty life is, this fucking sucks." but guess what? fuck it. yeah, that's right, just say "fuck it" and then joy will return. when I light a match I like to toss it lit into the toilet bowl. when I do it I find joy, but I can't force this. I can't light them for no reason. it has to be natural. so you see? it's the stupid fucking things. only things that are themselves pointless matter. it's all those other memories that you should forget, everything, all those so called meaningful points are worthless. everything that should be remembered should be forgotten and everything that should be forgotten should be remembered! those are actually the only moments worth remembering in a lifetime of drudgery and pain, a life of meaningless turmoil, a life where everyone is shitting on you, kicking you around, pissing in your eyes, a lifetime where you don't actually have any solid or reasonable worth, but that's ok. fuck everything and everyone. fuck everything and everyone. fuck everything and everyone. fuck everything and everyone. don't bother fucking doing anything. fuck worth. fuck purpose. fuck it all and just be happy motherfuckers, because that's all you've fucking got.
Track Name: i'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world (biggest fucking invertebrate in the world mix by worms of the earth)
hey, I remember some of you. I remember you were there, there when it all began, there when I sucked. I even remember some of you from that time that I was all bitter and angry. am I angry now? do you see me yelling and talking shit? look how things have worked out. here I am, It-Clings, actually rock n' roll supergod It-Clings king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and in case you haven't heard, I am the fucking shit. from everything I've been hearing, from everything my yes-men and oh yeah, yes-sluts have been telling me, I'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world. yeah, that's right. you know, I didn't believe them at first either, but I've got to listen to what they say! they assure me that they are never wrong! and now you men out there are probably wondering what it's all about, being me, and you women out there are probably wondering how my fucking cock tastes... but you'll have time to find out soon enough, just don't push ahead in the line bitches, don't be fucking rude, there's enough of this to go around, you will all get your turn... yeah, that's right, there's even enough for some of you men too, the young cute ones. fuck it, what do I care. it would be a crime to keep this from you. so now that you're not so distracted by the immediate needs of your aching throbbing genitals you've got some time now to sit back and daydream more about me and wonder what it's like to have passed from mortal piece of shit drunk pissant into what now manifests itself before you, super-supremo arch-bad-ass-mother fucker It-Clings. well, that would be a little hard to explain and you're tiny minds might not be able to even handle the details. let me just sum it up this way, it's awesome, it's pretty good, it's better than nothing. but I hear you silently chanting, "how did this all happen? how did this all happen? how did this all happen?" what propelled me beyond the constrictions of mere mortality? before you all start guessing, emailing in your speculations and filling chat rooms with more bullshit gossip let me just cut to the chase, I auto-erota-theismed myself! yeah, you heard me. it's a mouthful I know. so let me say it again, I auto-erota-theismed myself! I worked it and I worked it and oh yeah, I worked the little bastard over and over again and then one fucking day, I totally wanked myself right into super-godness. did you hear me? I jerked myself out of the mortal realm and into that of godliness. yeah, that's right, I masturbated myself right out of existence and into a new existence. but let me tell you, it was no simple task, do you think that sort of thing is easy? I mean, I was pulling the living fuck out of my cock, I was doing something really fucking special, all the while having this massive big fucking red beast of a dildo shoved up my ass and I think several vibrators going and yeah, maybe something clamped onto my nipples. don't ask me why, but there it was. and the shot, when it came, sent me right to the top of olympia, if you know what I'm saying. and yes, it was the purifying perfect glorious shot of self-immaculization, although what I squirted onto my chest and face wasn't quite so immaculate, but it did feel soo good. cleared up some acne as well, keeps my face toned and looking so young. so there you go, that's the whole damned story in a nut-shell. so now you're probably wondering why the fuck you're still standing around like douche-bags and not busy somewhere masturbating yourself? you probably foolishly think that you're special enough to become a god, and that you know how to masturbate and that you're willing to give the whole fucking thing a try, and I can't say I don't blame you. I encourage you, to be honest. do it anywhere you want for all I care. let's start the dream squirting right here and now. do it in the streets or at work or on fucking chat roulette for everyone? to bear witness to. this cd's pretty much over mother fuckers. fuck all of this, there's much better things to do. but don't ask anybody to help you, do you really think they know what they're doing? and can they compare to me anyway? do the job right, do it yourself.
Track Name: it clings doesn't give a fuck (oral self dissection mix by lucidstatic)
do you ever stop and think about the music you are listening to? stop and wonder who that douche bag that's singing or yelling actually is? I mean, there’s It-Clings ranting and raving about how hard life is, how no one loves him, how we’ve got to do something about the environment or about the government and you can all relate to it because you've got the same problems! but does It-Clings have them? let's imagine for a second that he was sober enough to put two brain cells together and form one thought, let's pretend that he could dig his nose out of those heaping piles of drugs and have a moment of clarity, that he was distracted enough to pull his enormous ugly purple cock out of the hungry drooling mouths of even half those girls... wait a second, how old are those chicks? has anyone carded anyone here? who are all these goons standing around looking so tough? do any of them actually have a job? has It-Clings even seen the outside world in the last six months? does he even have a concept of what sunshine feels like? does he really have any problems with government agencies that he can't buy off? this dude's living in a dream world. he doesn't give a fuck about the environment. he once personally ordered a thousand acres of amazonian rain forest set on fire so that he could feel sad about the plight of the zulus, weep over the death of gentle koala bears that he had flown in from australia and parachuted into the blaze. that's what that song's really about! it wasn't about saving the world, it wasn't about conservation. it was about spending money and spending it foolishly. you’ve got that problem? he’s just going through the motions with his lyrics, he doesn’t believe anything he says. the entire first album was a construct of his record label. all the songs he actually writes are in standard rhyming couplets and he loves to ‘rhyme’ “baby” with “baby” or at best “slut” with “up”. he wrote a song about robocop riding a unicorn for fucks sake. he thinks he’s a real philosopher, or at least a word sorcerer, but gets most of his ideas from movies, and not good ones at that. he loves joker from full metal jacket and the joker from the dark knight, although he might actually think they are the same character. he’s actually got nothing to say but he likes it that way. it’s the beat that’s “important”, and he can’t play an instrument. he wants to be deep, and his fans are just sheep.
Track Name: an it-clings love song (descending into the despair that was always there mix by promonium jesters)
you know, some people are always at me for talking about nothing but bullshit. "people don't want to hear about how angry you are," they say. "people don't want to hear about how pointless existence is." "people don't want to hear about all your stupid fucked up dumb ass ideas about whatever it is the fuck you always rant and rave about." "sometimes," these people say to me, "people want to hear a love song." so now I ask, is this what people want to hear? is it suddenly time that people be exposed to a little It-Clings love song. maybe love can conquer the beast that is It-Clings. how can the old anger survive in the face of love? It-Clings may be an angry dude, but can he stare down love? although maybe you should be asking yourself "is this what I need to expose myself to? am I really prepared for an It-Clings love song?" and now I think it's time for all you sensitive types to just turn this the fuck off. oh no, I'm going to be losing listeners, I'm going to be losing fans. but you know what, after almost a half a moment of thought I realize fuck those types of fans, because oh yeah, it's time, it's ready, you're going to hear an It-Clings version of a love song and if you're the type who is easily offended, then you're not going to be a fucking fan much longer. I'm not losing anyone I don't want to lose. and they are definitely not going to like this and they are definitely not going to get this. the other day I was trying to think about what's most valuable in life and then you walked by and for a second I thought it might be your cunt, and I think I can smell it and it smells good. is that the smell of your cunt? umm.... yeah, that's the smell. and I wonder about this. do I have that good of a sense of smell or does your cunt really stink? let's not beat about the bush on this one. is that the stench of your cunt that we can all smell when you walk by? and then It-Clings comes out and tells me that your cunt isn't an object of desire, your cunt is a bank and your face is a service charge and your personality is a service charge and all your bullshit is a service charge and I can't stand those convenience fees. your cunt is a bank and It-Clings doesn't like banks. oh I use banks but I don't like banks. there's too much bullshit involved with banks. and all these cocks and cunts are nothing but a painful meaningless distraction and in the end this isn't worth. this isn't what I should be wasting all of my fucking time thinking about. how about for a moment we say fuck your cunt! fuck your god damned fucking cunt. I don't want it. I want out! so how about that? is that what you wanted in a fucking love song? is that the truth you wanted in a fucking love song? the truth! now I see the truth. love can't conquer this anger mother fuckers. I know who I am. I'm a total fucking asshole. I'm thee total fucking asshole. I'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world and in the world the biggest fucking thing is the biggest fucking asshole. yeah, that's right, I'm rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind and salvation cannot be found in love, it cannot be found in happiness, but in anger! It-Clings is the rejection of your bullshit. in this fucked up piece of shit world the only emotion worth embracing, the only emotion worth fucking is anger. fuck you! I am the epitome of anger. I vomit at your sense of decency. I am the bright burning star of hostility. I hate everything because nothing has any worth. fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! nothing is worth saving. nothing is sacred. everything must be pushed! humanity is the enemy! everything must be destroyed.
Track Name: six and a half minutes of it-clings talking about his fucking cock (iszoloscope censored watered down radio mix)
oh no, you're saying, here comes It-Clings. now we're going to have to listen to 6 and a half minutes of him talking about his fucking cock and some misogynist bullshit about fucking young girls in their assholes, perhaps a little about how he's a fucking rock n' roll super star, and how you’re all complete morons. and wow, for once you've shown a little fucking intelligence. fuck, you've actually surprised me this time. I am indeed rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and I do like to fuck the shit, quite literally out of the assholes of dumb fucking young whores, but wait a second, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong, I don't like to do it with rusty pipes, or chainsaws, or the butt end of an ak47, although I do masturbate about sick fucking shit like that. I have some problems. however, when it comes right down to it I just like fucking them with my god damned ugly veiny purple headed beast of a cock. you see, even someone as massively perverse as me at times has simple needs. all I really like to see is the decrepit old man dick violating their juicy young shit boxes and cunt flesh. yeah, that's pretty tasty. and that's all. it's hardly even criminal, just morally reprehensible. ok. now that you're all offended you're probably waiting for me to get to the point, to somehow attempt to justify this extremely objectionable shit with some sort of artistic statement about the world or society or even my own fucked up mind, but that's not going to happen, this rant isn't going to be about anything else. this is just me trying to piss you cock suckers off. yes, piss you cock suckers off. now for those of you who are new to the It-Clings experience, let me just say that normally I do try to make some sort of point, yes there is vulgarity but there is also meaning, but I don't think you dumb fucking asses have ever fucking got it and I don't think you would have gotten it this time either, so I'm just going to start vomiting obscenity at you. fuck all of you. fuck all your stupid mother fucking bullshit and by bullshit I probably just mean your faces. this is probably what you've needed for some time. someone needs to stand up to you and tell you what a bunch of dumb ass fucks you really are, I know someone needs to do that to me. someone probably needs to give me a good ass kicking. however, that’s not the purpose of this either, because that's almost tainted with some sort of meaning. fuck everything and everyone. now let's get back to me talking about, and more importantly, let's get back to me grabbing hold of my god damned cock. in fact, let's just stop this bullshit music and just have a little moment of silence where you just listen to me indiscriminately grab at and work over my cock. now who's the sick fuck? I may be doing it, but you've taken the time to download this shit. fuck, this track is probably already on your top play count. you downloading pictures of me? you watching me on youtube? is this how you get your fucking kicks? because that's pretty fucking pathetic. and what's worse, you’re probably desperately rubbing yourself against your monitors or touch screens. gunking up the screens with your sick poor sad genital ooze. your emptiness and loneliness only being surpassed by the wretchedness of the lazy cloudy drip that this frantic pulling and pressing down on your own sad excuses of genitalia has created. oh god, oh, that disgusting image almost made me lose track of what I was saying... oh wait, I wasn't saying anything. fuck you!
Track Name: the new era of big penis begins (dead man's hill's apocalyptic visionaire mix)
oh my dark lord satan, I call to you. oh dear glorious satan! I call to you! satan: corrupter of all things innocent, fucker of all things sacred, sodomizer of the young and the old. all hail this dark prince, this lord of the world; all hail the emancipator, the liberator of the oppressed, the freer of men's minds. blessed be the profane. blessed be this knowledge. blasphemer. heretic. leveller of injustices. accepter of all things. dear lord father. fellow brother. wanderer of the earth. embracing sister/mother. oh ye who is all things. corrupter, instigator, forgiver, punisher, creator, executioner. bless me with your sensations. overwhelm me with your orgasmic fluids. drown me in your inconsistencies. I stand before you, rock n' roller supergod It-Clings, and I metaphorically kneel before your grace. without you I am nothing. with you I am all powerful. they don't call me king of the jews without your blessing. they don't hail me as mother fucking kick ass arch-supremo without your sanctification. I could hardly be the saviour of all mankind without your grace! you are the bestower of all that is enlightened and wise. you, who is the satisfier of all needs, the all-compassionate, the all-vengeful, the knower of all, the divinely ignorant, the creator and the destroyer. I come to you again, oh great one. I come to you with my needs and the needs of these fucking losers everywhere around me. and what do I we what from you this time? money? fucking bitches? guns? big fucking cocks? free booze? lots of imitation swiss watches? pharmaceuticals? oh yeah, pharmaceuticals! pharmaceuticals for all our needs, pharmaceuticals that will make us strong, pharmaceuticals that will make us large, pharmaceuticals that will make us finally overcome our natural inconsistencies. pharmaceuticals that will make us happy, that will make us not care, that will make us ignore everything and allow us to focus. pharmaceuticals that are unlike anything upon this earthly world. this is what we need, oh dear lord of the abyss. and you, who are the ultimate pharmaceutical shall bless us with it, you are the drug that renews its own prescription. these dumb fucks before me may not have embraced your philosophical ideology but I have. oh yes, I have! before you, men used to laugh at me when I used public washrooms. and now who is laughing? you and i, oh my dear black prince! you and i. before you, glorious satan I never scored any ladies, now I've fucked 5 of them this week alone. fucked them. fucked their ass. came all over there face. made them make me breakfast in the morning. you know, put in the extra effort. it just takes a little faith, it just takes accepting the darker path. yes, it is all about giving yourself to evil! I needed a cure? but the cure has been there all along. I just ignored it. I filtered it out of my consciousness. oh sure, I've got some problems, but these problems can and will be washed away. and the serpent whispered to me one night "72% of all women need a larger, thicker penis to reach sexual orgasm". life is too short to live that way. stop the foolishness now. don't hesitate, grab the chance of your lifetime by giving yourself to the evil one. but be assured that the safety and confidentiality of your information is guaranteed. with the devil you are assured prompt delivery, great pricing, personalized service. listen to one of the numerous letters that the devil has personally received from happy customers: "I am satisfied with every aspect of my sexual life and so is my girlfriend. thanks a lot. hail satan!" and how about this one: "with the devil I have enlarged 'my equipment' at last. I don't avoid sexual encounters with women p.s. he also gave me the courage to strangle my mother and carve a gigantic pentagram in my chest with a knife I made from her pelvis." start the new life of success and happiness. here's another: "because of my cock size I have never been able to enjoy sex. I avoided relationships as they only led to frustration. I raped a few children but it never gave me the real satisfaction and I did have to kill them afterwards. but now satan has changed my life. it really works. I even murder less frequently than before because I enjoy my self-confidence now and I love having sex with at least semi-conscious people. thank you so much." no more lonely nights! the new era of big penis begins! satan's goal is to present low cost solutions for anyone. you want happiness at less than 70% the average retail price? you want satisfaction without the wait? women will go mad when you retain your alliance to the devil. what I am telling you about now is context-free living ... living without boundaries! the devil doesn't want to stop you from doing anything; the devil doesn't want to restrain you. it's a free and open market. don't let the naysayers get you down. why pay when you can get it for free. the devil doesn't want much in return. maybe your visa number. but that's all. he doesn't want your soul, he doesn't want your time. he doesn't want you calling him late at night whenever you're all drunk. he wants to help and that's it. give yourself to the evil path! we want to bring you something impressive! all I ask is that you give satan a chance. check it out. don't be shy. check our offer and you will never regret!
Track Name: santorum (no lube mix by pneumatic detach)
I think I know you, I think I understand you, I know what you`re doing. I think you`re just sitting around wondering what it's all about being me. what it's like to be rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and I wish I could tell you, but it would be fucking pointless. you just wouldn't fucking get it. in case you haven't noticed, you're a bunch of fucking morons. but I will tell you a little story, give you a little peak into my life, and at the same time give you a little something to think about, a little parable of the way it really is. there I was slamming my cock into some chick's asshole, slamming my cock into the hard lump of shit in her asshole and she wanted me to cum in there, wanted me to mix my cum with her excrement and I couldn't do it because I kept thinking that this shit is probably made out of bacon and the whole thing made me sick. dirty greasy filthy bacon and I'm slamming away at her asshole and I'm wanting to puke. now this chick was a nice girl, and pretty good looking, she's probably a lot better looking than any of the girls you've ever fucked, and I have no problem fucking people in the ass, but I kept on thinking about this digested bacon and it’s for this reason that she sickened me. but let's get this straight, this little rant isn't about anal sex or about bacon and how disgusting it is, and it is disgusting. it's about revulsion and my ability to cope with it. yes, it's true. I'm not one to allow feelings of revulsion to get in the way, because if I did how could I do all those things I do each and every day? each and every day! from the moment I awaken to the moment I fall back asleep I'm smeared with this, I'm coated by the dripping mucus of it all. this world I live in is plugged with the fecal regurgitation of disgust and yet I deal, we all deal, we all just act like it's no big problem. so I just pounded her asshole for as long as I could, seeing the billowing santorum foam up around the hole, see it creep all over my cock. oh fuck, to be honest, this is one of the hottest things I've seen in a long long time. I'm a fucking twisted fuck, this world has made me sick, this world has made me corrupt and worthless. it sucks at me, it plagues me with its disease. and I hate it and I love it and I love the fucking parts I hate, and despite what I said about this being not about anal sex, I most certainly I hate myself for not cumming up her shitbox.
Track Name: an it-clings love song (receiver's underlying creepiness mix)
you know, some people are always at me for talking about nothing but bullshit. "people don't want to hear about how angry you are," they say. "people don't want to hear about how pointless existence is." "people don't want to hear about all your stupid fucked up dumb ass ideas about whatever it is the fuck you always rant and rave about." "sometimes," these people say to me, "people want to hear a love song." so now I ask, is this what people want to hear? is it suddenly time that people be exposed to a little It-Clings love song. maybe love can conquer the beast that is It-Clings. how can the old anger survive in the face of love? It-Clings may be an angry dude, but can he stare down love? although maybe you should be asking yourself "is this what I need to expose myself to? am I really prepared for an It-Clings love song?" and now I think it's time for all you sensitive types to just turn this the fuck off. oh no, I'm going to be losing listeners, I'm going to be losing fans. but you know what, after almost a half a moment of thought I realize fuck those types of fans, because oh yeah, it's time, it's ready, you're going to hear an It-Clings version of a love song and if you're the type who is easily offended, then you're not going to be a fucking fan much longer. I'm not losing anyone I don't want to lose. and they are definitely not going to like this and they are definitely not going to get this. the other day I was trying to think about what's most valuable in life and then you walked by and for a second I thought it might be your cunt, and I think I can smell it and it smells good. is that the smell of your cunt? umm.... yeah, that's the smell. and I wonder about this. do I have that good of a sense of smell or does your cunt really stink? let's not beat about the bush on this one. is that the stench of your cunt that we can all smell when you walk by? and then It-Clings comes out and tells me that your cunt isn't an object of desire, your cunt is a bank and your face is a service charge and your personality is a service charge and all your bullshit is a service charge and I can't stand those convenience fees. your cunt is a bank and It-Clings doesn't like banks. oh I use banks but I don't like banks. there's too much bullshit involved with banks. and all these cocks and cunts are nothing but a painful meaningless distraction and in the end this isn't worth. this isn't what I should be wasting all of my fucking time thinking about. how about for a moment we say fuck your cunt! fuck your god damned fucking cunt. I don't want it. I want out! so how about that? is that what you wanted in a fucking love song? is that the truth you wanted in a fucking love song? the truth! now I see the truth. love can't conquer this anger mother fuckers. I know who I am. I'm a total fucking asshole. I'm thee total fucking asshole. I'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world and in the world the biggest fucking thing is the biggest fucking asshole. yeah, that's right, I'm rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind and salvation cannot be found in love, it cannot be found in happiness, but in anger! It-Clings is the rejection of your bullshit. in this fucked up piece of shit world the only emotion worth embracing, the only emotion worth fucking is anger. fuck you! I am the epitome of anger. I vomit at your sense of decency. I am the bright burning star of hostility. I hate everything because nothing has any worth. fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! nothing is worth saving. nothing is sacred. everything must be pushed! humanity is the enemy! everything must be destroyed.
Track Name: it-clings doesn't give a fuck (autovoice vs the it-clings metaverse mix)
do you ever stop and think about the music you are listening to? stop and wonder who that douche bag that's singing or yelling actually is? I mean, there’s It-Clings ranting and raving about how hard life is, how no one loves him, how we’ve got to do something about the environment or about the government and you can all relate to it because you've got the same problems! but does It-Clings have them? let's imagine for a second that he was sober enough to put two brain cells together and form one thought, let's pretend that he could dig his nose out of those heaping piles of drugs and have a moment of clarity, that he was distracted enough to pull his enormous ugly purple cock out of the hungry drooling mouths of even half those girls... wait a second, how old are those chicks? has anyone carded anyone here? who are all these goons standing around looking so tough? do any of them actually have a job? has It-Clings even seen the outside world in the last six months? does he even have a concept of what sunshine feels like? does he really have any problems with government agencies that he can't buy off? this dude's living in a dream world. he doesn't give a fuck about the environment. he once personally ordered a thousand acres of amazonian rain forest set on fire so that he could feel sad about the plight of the zulus, weep over the death of gentle koala bears that he had flown in from australia and parachuted into the blaze. that's what that song's really about! it wasn't about saving the world, it wasn't about conservation. it was about spending money and spending it foolishly. you’ve got that problem? he’s just going through the motions with his lyrics, he doesn’t believe anything he says. the entire first album was a construct of his record label. all the songs he actually writes are in standard rhyming couplets and he loves to ‘rhyme’ “baby” with “baby” or at best “slut” with “up”. he wrote a song about robocop riding a unicorn for fucks sake. he thinks he’s a real philosopher, or at least a word sorcerer, but gets most of his ideas from movies, and not good ones at that. he loves joker from full metal jacket and the joker from the dark knight, although he might actually think they are the same character. he’s actually got nothing to say but he likes it that way. it’s the beat that’s “important”, and he can’t play an instrument. he wants to be deep, and his fans are just sheep.
Track Name: the new era of big penis begins (ask your pharmacist about katastroslavia mix)
oh my dark lord satan, I call to you. oh dear glorious satan! I call to you! satan: corrupter of all things innocent, fucker of all things sacred, sodomizer of the young and the old. all hail this dark prince, this lord of the world; all hail the emancipator, the liberator of the oppressed, the freer of men's minds. blessed be the profane. blessed be this knowledge. blasphemer. heretic. leveller of injustices. accepter of all things. dear lord father. fellow brother. wanderer of the earth. embracing sister/mother. oh ye who is all things. corrupter, instigator, forgiver, punisher, creator, executioner. bless me with your sensations. overwhelm me with your orgasmic fluids. drown me in your inconsistencies. I stand before you, rock n' roller supergod It-Clings, and I metaphorically kneel before your grace. without you I am nothing. with you I am all powerful. they don't call me king of the jews without your blessing. they don't hail me as mother fucking kick ass arch-supremo without your sanctification. I could hardly be the saviour of all mankind without your grace! you are the bestower of all that is enlightened and wise. you, who is the satisfier of all needs, the all-compassionate, the all-vengeful, the knower of all, the divinely ignorant, the creator and the destroyer. I come to you again, oh great one. I come to you with my needs and the needs of these fucking losers everywhere around me. and what do I we what from you this time? money? fucking bitches? guns? big fucking cocks? free booze? lots of imitation swiss watches? pharmaceuticals? oh yeah, pharmaceuticals! pharmaceuticals for all our needs, pharmaceuticals that will make us strong, pharmaceuticals that will make us large, pharmaceuticals that will make us finally overcome our natural inconsistencies. pharmaceuticals that will make us happy, that will make us not care, that will make us ignore everything and allow us to focus. pharmaceuticals that are unlike anything upon this earthly world. this is what we need, oh dear lord of the abyss. and you, who are the ultimate pharmaceutical shall bless us with it, you are the drug that renews its own prescription. these dumb fucks before me may not have embraced your philosophical ideology but I have. oh yes, I have! before you, men used to laugh at me when I used public washrooms. and now who is laughing? you and i, oh my dear black prince! you and i. before you, glorious satan I never scored any ladies, now I've fucked 5 of them this week alone. fucked them. fucked their ass. came all over there face. made them make me breakfast in the morning. you know, put in the extra effort. it just takes a little faith, it just takes accepting the darker path. yes, it is all about giving yourself to evil! I needed a cure? but the cure has been there all along. I just ignored it. I filtered it out of my consciousness. oh sure, I've got some problems, but these problems can and will be washed away. and the serpent whispered to me one night "72% of all women need a larger, thicker penis to reach sexual orgasm". life is too short to live that way. stop the foolishness now. don't hesitate, grab the chance of your lifetime by giving yourself to the evil one. but be assured that the safety and confidentiality of your information is guaranteed. with the devil you are assured prompt delivery, great pricing, personalized service. listen to one of the numerous letters that the devil has personally received from happy customers: "I am satisfied with every aspect of my sexual life and so is my girlfriend. thanks a lot. hail satan!" and how about this one: "with the devil I have enlarged 'my equipment' at last. I don't avoid sexual encounters with women p.s. he also gave me the courage to strangle my mother and carve a gigantic pentagram in my chest with a knife I made from her pelvis." start the new life of success and happiness. here's another: "because of my cock size I have never been able to enjoy sex. I avoided relationships as they only led to frustration. I raped a few children but it never gave me the real satisfaction and I did have to kill them afterwards. but now satan has changed my life. it really works. I even murder less frequently than before because I enjoy my self-confidence now and I love having sex with at least semi-conscious people. thank you so much." no more lonely nights! the new era of big penis begins! satan's goal is to present low cost solutions for anyone. you want happiness at less than 70% the average retail price? you want satisfaction without the wait? women will go mad when you retain your alliance to the devil. what I am telling you about now is context-free living ... living without boundaries! the devil doesn't want to stop you from doing anything; the devil doesn't want to restrain you. it's a free and open market. don't let the naysayers get you down. why pay when you can get it for free. the devil doesn't want much in return. maybe your visa number. but that's all. he doesn't want your soul, he doesn't want your time. he doesn't want you calling him late at night whenever you're all drunk. he wants to help and that's it. give yourself to the evil path! we want to bring you something impressive! all I ask is that you give satan a chance. check it out. don't be shy. check our offer and you will never regret!
Track Name: six and a half minutes of it-clings talking about his fucking cock (jonbob sexy sex mix)
oh no, you're saying, here comes It-Clings. now we're going to have to listen to 6 and a half minutes of him talking about his fucking cock and some misogynist bullshit about fucking young girls in their assholes, perhaps a little about how he's a fucking rock n' roll super star, and how you’re all complete morons. and wow, for once you've shown a little fucking intelligence. fuck, you've actually surprised me this time. I am indeed rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and I do like to fuck the shit, quite literally out of the assholes of dumb fucking young whores, but wait a second, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong, I don't like to do it with rusty pipes, or chainsaws, or the butt end of an ak47, although I do masturbate about sick fucking shit like that. I have some problems. however, when it comes right down to it I just like fucking them with my god damned ugly veiny purple headed beast of a cock. you see, even someone as massively perverse as me at times has simple needs. all I really like to see is the decrepit old man dick violating their juicy young shit boxes and cunt flesh. yeah, that's pretty tasty. and that's all. it's hardly even criminal, just morally reprehensible. ok. now that you're all offended you're probably waiting for me to get to the point, to somehow attempt to justify this extremely objectionable shit with some sort of artistic statement about the world or society or even my own fucked up mind, but that's not going to happen, this rant isn't going to be about anything else. this is just me trying to piss you cock suckers off. yes, piss you cock suckers off. now for those of you who are new to the It-Clings experience, let me just say that normally I do try to make some sort of point, yes there is vulgarity but there is also meaning, but I don't think you dumb fucking asses have ever fucking got it and I don't think you would have gotten it this time either, so I'm just going to start vomiting obscenity at you. fuck all of you. fuck all your stupid mother fucking bullshit and by bullshit I probably just mean your faces. this is probably what you've needed for some time. someone needs to stand up to you and tell you what a bunch of dumb ass fucks you really are, I know someone needs to do that to me. someone probably needs to give me a good ass kicking. however, that’s not the purpose of this either, because that's almost tainted with some sort of meaning. fuck everything and everyone. now let's get back to me talking about, and more importantly, let's get back to me grabbing hold of my god damned cock. in fact, let's just stop this bullshit music and just have a little moment of silence where you just listen to me indiscriminately grab at and work over my cock. now who's the sick fuck? I may be doing it, but you've taken the time to download this shit. fuck, this track is probably already on your top play count. you downloading pictures of me? you watching me on youtube? is this how you get your fucking kicks? because that's pretty fucking pathetic. and what's worse, you’re probably desperately rubbing yourself against your monitors or touch screens. gunking up the screens with your sick poor sad genital ooze. your emptiness and loneliness only being surpassed by the wretchedness of the lazy cloudy drip that this frantic pulling and pressing down on your own sad excuses of genitalia has created. oh god, oh, that disgusting image almost made me lose track of what I was saying... oh wait, I wasn't saying anything. fuck you!
Track Name: an it-clings love song (the funky cunt mix by fractured)
you know, some people are always at me for talking about nothing but bullshit. "people don't want to hear about how angry you are," they say. "people don't want to hear about how pointless existence is." "people don't want to hear about all your stupid fucked up dumb ass ideas about whatever it is the fuck you always rant and rave about." "sometimes," these people say to me, "people want to hear a love song." so now I ask, is this what people want to hear? is it suddenly time that people be exposed to a little It-Clings love song. maybe love can conquer the beast that is It-Clings. how can the old anger survive in the face of love? It-Clings may be an angry dude, but can he stare down love? although maybe you should be asking yourself "is this what I need to expose myself to? am I really prepared for an It-Clings love song?" and now I think it's time for all you sensitive types to just turn this the fuck off. oh no, I'm going to be losing listeners, I'm going to be losing fans. but you know what, after almost a half a moment of thought I realize fuck those types of fans, because oh yeah, it's time, it's ready, you're going to hear an It-Clings version of a love song and if you're the type who is easily offended, then you're not going to be a fucking fan much longer. I'm not losing anyone I don't want to lose. and they are definitely not going to like this and they are definitely not going to get this. the other day I was trying to think about what's most valuable in life and then you walked by and for a second I thought it might be your cunt, and I think I can smell it and it smells good. is that the smell of your cunt? umm.... yeah, that's the smell. and I wonder about this. do I have that good of a sense of smell or does your cunt really stink? let's not beat about the bush on this one. is that the stench of your cunt that we can all smell when you walk by? and then It-Clings comes out and tells me that your cunt isn't an object of desire, your cunt is a bank and your face is a service charge and your personality is a service charge and all your bullshit is a service charge and I can't stand those convenience fees. your cunt is a bank and It-Clings doesn't like banks. oh I use banks but I don't like banks. there's too much bullshit involved with banks. and all these cocks and cunts are nothing but a painful meaningless distraction and in the end this isn't worth. this isn't what I should be wasting all of my fucking time thinking about. how about for a moment we say fuck your cunt! fuck your god damned fucking cunt. I don't want it. I want out! so how about that? is that what you wanted in a fucking love song? is that the truth you wanted in a fucking love song? the truth! now I see the truth. love can't conquer this anger mother fuckers. I know who I am. I'm a total fucking asshole. I'm thee total fucking asshole. I'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world and in the world the biggest fucking thing is the biggest fucking asshole. yeah, that's right, I'm rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind and salvation cannot be found in love, it cannot be found in happiness, but in anger! It-Clings is the rejection of your bullshit. in this fucked up piece of shit world the only emotion worth embracing, the only emotion worth fucking is anger. fuck you! I am the epitome of anger. I vomit at your sense of decency. I am the bright burning star of hostility. I hate everything because nothing has any worth. fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! nothing is worth saving. nothing is sacred. everything must be pushed! humanity is the enemy! everything must be destroyed.
Track Name: santorum (the hottest thing you've heard in a long time mix by razor edge)
I think I know you, I think I understand you, I know what you`re doing. I think you`re just sitting around wondering what it's all about being me. what it's like to be rock n' roll supergod It-Clings, king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and I wish I could tell you, but it would be fucking pointless. you just wouldn't fucking get it. in case you haven't noticed, you're a bunch of fucking morons. but I will tell you a little story, give you a little peak into my life, and at the same time give you a little something to think about, a little parable of the way it really is. there I was slamming my cock into some chick's asshole, slamming my cock into the hard lump of shit in her asshole and she wanted me to cum in there, wanted me to mix my cum with her excrement and I couldn't do it because I kept thinking that this shit is probably made out of bacon and the whole thing made me sick. dirty greasy filthy bacon and I'm slamming away at her asshole and I'm wanting to puke. now this chick was a nice girl, and pretty good looking, she's probably a lot better looking than any of the girls you've ever fucked, and I have no problem fucking people in the ass, but I kept on thinking about this digested bacon and it’s for this reason that she sickened me. but let's get this straight, this little rant isn't about anal sex or about bacon and how disgusting it is, and it is disgusting. it's about revulsion and my ability to cope with it. yes, it's true. I'm not one to allow feelings of revulsion to get in the way, because if I did how could I do all those things I do each and every day? each and every day! from the moment I awaken to the moment I fall back asleep I'm smeared with this, I'm coated by the dripping mucus of it all. this world I live in is plugged with the fecal regurgitation of disgust and yet I deal, we all deal, we all just act like it's no big problem. so I just pounded her asshole for as long as I could, seeing the billowing santorum foam up around the hole, see it creep all over my cock. oh fuck, to be honest, this is one of the hottest things I've seen in a long long time. I'm a fucking twisted fuck, this world has made me sick, this world has made me corrupt and worthless. it sucks at me, it plagues me with its disease. and I hate it and I love it and I love the fucking parts I hate, and despite what I said about this being not about anal sex, I most certainly I hate myself for not cumming up her shitbox.
Track Name: i'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world (surrogated transcendental dread mix by thermidor)
hey, I remember some of you. I remember you were there, there when it all began, there when I sucked. I even remember some of you from that time that I was all bitter and angry. am I angry now? do you see me yelling and talking shit? look how things have worked out. here I am, It-Clings, actually rock n' roll supergod It-Clings king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and in case you haven't heard, I am the fucking shit. from everything I've been hearing, from everything my yes-men and oh yeah, yes-sluts have been telling me, I'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world. yeah, that's right. you know, I didn't believe them at first either, but I've got to listen to what they say! they assure me that they are never wrong! and now you men out there are probably wondering what it's all about, being me, and you women out there are probably wondering how my fucking cock tastes... but you'll have time to find out soon enough, just don't push ahead in the line bitches, don't be fucking rude, there's enough of this to go around, you will all get your turn... yeah, that's right, there's even enough for some of you men too, the young cute ones. fuck it, what do I care. it would be a crime to keep this from you. so now that you're not so distracted by the immediate needs of your aching throbbing genitals you've got some time now to sit back and daydream more about me and wonder what it's like to have passed from mortal piece of shit drunk pissant into what now manifests itself before you, super-supremo arch-bad-ass-mother fucker It-Clings. well, that would be a little hard to explain and you're tiny minds might not be able to even handle the details. let me just sum it up this way, it's awesome, it's pretty good, it's better than nothing. but I hear you silently chanting, "how did this all happen? how did this all happen? how did this all happen?" what propelled me beyond the constrictions of mere mortality? before you all start guessing, emailing in your speculations and filling chat rooms with more bullshit gossip let me just cut to the chase, I auto-erota-theismed myself! yeah, you heard me. it's a mouthful I know. so let me say it again, I auto-erota-theismed myself! I worked it and I worked it and oh yeah, I worked the little bastard over and over again and then one fucking day, I totally wanked myself right into super-godness. did you hear me? I jerked myself out of the mortal realm and into that of godliness. yeah, that's right, I masturbated myself right out of existence and into a new existence. but let me tell you, it was no simple task, do you think that sort of thing is easy? I mean, I was pulling the living fuck out of my cock, I was doing something really fucking special, all the while having this massive big fucking red beast of a dildo shoved up my ass and I think several vibrators going and yeah, maybe something clamped onto my nipples. don't ask me why, but there it was. and the shot, when it came, sent me right to the top of olympia, if you know what I'm saying. and yes, it was the purifying perfect glorious shot of self-immaculization, although what I squirted onto my chest and face wasn't quite so immaculate, but it did feel soo good. cleared up some acne as well, keeps my face toned and looking so young. so there you go, that's the whole damned story in a nut-shell. so now you're probably wondering why the fuck you're still standing around like douche-bags and not busy somewhere masturbating yourself? you probably foolishly think that you're special enough to become a god, and that you know how to masturbate and that you're willing to give the whole fucking thing a try, and I can't say I don't blame you. I encourage you, to be honest. do it anywhere you want for all I care. let's start the dream squirting right here and now. do it in the streets or at work or on fucking chat roulette for everyone? to bear witness to. this cd's pretty much over mother fuckers. fuck all of this, there's much better things to do. but don't ask anybody to help you, do you really think they know what they're doing? and can they compare to me anyway? do the job right, do it yourself.
Track Name: the new era of big penis begins (the green spots you get all over your dick by having it hit by a toliet seat on a bus ride to providence mix by pneumatic detach)
oh my dark lord satan, I call to you. oh dear glorious satan! I call to you! satan: corrupter of all things innocent, fucker of all things sacred, sodomizer of the young and the old. all hail this dark prince, this lord of the world; all hail the emancipator, the liberator of the oppressed, the freer of men's minds. blessed be the profane. blessed be this knowledge. blasphemer. heretic. leveller of injustices. accepter of all things. dear lord father. fellow brother. wanderer of the earth. embracing sister/mother. oh ye who is all things. corrupter, instigator, forgiver, punisher, creator, executioner. bless me with your sensations. overwhelm me with your orgasmic fluids. drown me in your inconsistencies. I stand before you, rock n' roller supergod It-Clings, and I metaphorically kneel before your grace. without you I am nothing. with you I am all powerful. they don't call me king of the jews without your blessing. they don't hail me as mother fucking kick ass arch-supremo without your sanctification. I could hardly be the saviour of all mankind without your grace! you are the bestower of all that is enlightened and wise. you, who is the satisfier of all needs, the all-compassionate, the all-vengeful, the knower of all, the divinely ignorant, the creator and the destroyer. I come to you again, oh great one. I come to you with my needs and the needs of these fucking losers everywhere around me. and what do I we what from you this time? money? fucking bitches? guns? big fucking cocks? free booze? lots of imitation swiss watches? pharmaceuticals? oh yeah, pharmaceuticals! pharmaceuticals for all our needs, pharmaceuticals that will make us strong, pharmaceuticals that will make us large, pharmaceuticals that will make us finally overcome our natural inconsistencies. pharmaceuticals that will make us happy, that will make us not care, that will make us ignore everything and allow us to focus. pharmaceuticals that are unlike anything upon this earthly world. this is what we need, oh dear lord of the abyss. and you, who are the ultimate pharmaceutical shall bless us with it, you are the drug that renews its own prescription. these dumb fucks before me may not have embraced your philosophical ideology but I have. oh yes, I have! before you, men used to laugh at me when I used public washrooms. and now who is laughing? you and i, oh my dear black prince! you and i. before you, glorious satan I never scored any ladies, now I've fucked 5 of them this week alone. fucked them. fucked their ass. came all over there face. made them make me breakfast in the morning. you know, put in the extra effort. it just takes a little faith, it just takes accepting the darker path. yes, it is all about giving yourself to evil! I needed a cure? but the cure has been there all along. I just ignored it. I filtered it out of my consciousness. oh sure, I've got some problems, but these problems can and will be washed away. and the serpent whispered to me one night "72% of all women need a larger, thicker penis to reach sexual orgasm". life is too short to live that way. stop the foolishness now. don't hesitate, grab the chance of your lifetime by giving yourself to the evil one. but be assured that the safety and confidentiality of your information is guaranteed. with the devil you are assured prompt delivery, great pricing, personalized service. listen to one of the numerous letters that the devil has personally received from happy customers: "I am satisfied with every aspect of my sexual life and so is my girlfriend. thanks a lot. hail satan!" and how about this one: "with the devil I have enlarged 'my equipment' at last. I don't avoid sexual encounters with women p.s. he also gave me the courage to strangle my mother and carve a gigantic pentagram in my chest with a knife I made from her pelvis." start the new life of success and happiness. here's another: "because of my cock size I have never been able to enjoy sex. I avoided relationships as they only led to frustration. I raped a few children but it never gave me the real satisfaction and I did have to kill them afterwards. but now satan has changed my life. it really works. I even murder less frequently than before because I enjoy my self-confidence now and I love having sex with at least semi-conscious people. thank you so much." no more lonely nights! the new era of big penis begins! satan's goal is to present low cost solutions for anyone. you want happiness at less than 70% the average retail price? you want satisfaction without the wait? women will go mad when you retain your alliance to the devil. what I am telling you about now is context-free living ... living without boundaries! the devil doesn't want to stop you from doing anything; the devil doesn't want to restrain you. it's a free and open market. don't let the naysayers get you down. why pay when you can get it for free. the devil doesn't want much in return. maybe your visa number. but that's all. he doesn't want your soul, he doesn't want your time. he doesn't want you calling him late at night whenever you're all drunk. he wants to help and that's it. give yourself to the evil path! we want to bring you something impressive! all I ask is that you give satan a chance. check it out. don't be shy. check our offer and you will never regret!
Track Name: it-clings doesn't give a fuck (dym's (flocks of) wizard mix)
do you ever stop and think about the music you are listening to? stop and wonder who that douche bag that's singing or yelling actually is? I mean, there’s It-Clings ranting and raving about how hard life is, how no one loves him, how we’ve got to do something about the environment or about the government and you can all relate to it because you've got the same problems! but does It-Clings have them? let's imagine for a second that he was sober enough to put two brain cells together and form one thought, let's pretend that he could dig his nose out of those heaping piles of drugs and have a moment of clarity, that he was distracted enough to pull his enormous ugly purple cock out of the hungry drooling mouths of even half those girls... wait a second, how old are those chicks? has anyone carded anyone here? who are all these goons standing around looking so tough? do any of them actually have a job? has It-Clings even seen the outside world in the last six months? does he even have a concept of what sunshine feels like? does he really have any problems with government agencies that he can't buy off? this dude's living in a dream world. he doesn't give a fuck about the environment. he once personally ordered a thousand acres of amazonian rain forest set on fire so that he could feel sad about the plight of the zulus, weep over the death of gentle koala bears that he had flown in from australia and parachuted into the blaze. that's what that song's really about! it wasn't about saving the world, it wasn't about conservation. it was about spending money and spending it foolishly. you’ve got that problem? he’s just going through the motions with his lyrics, he doesn’t believe anything he says. the entire first album was a construct of his record label. all the songs he actually writes are in standard rhyming couplets and he loves to ‘rhyme’ “baby” with “baby” or at best “slut” with “up”. he wrote a song about robocop riding a unicorn for fucks sake. he thinks he’s a real philosopher, or at least a word sorcerer, but gets most of his ideas from movies, and not good ones at that. he loves joker from full metal jacket and the joker from the dark knight, although he might actually think they are the same character. he’s actually got nothing to say but he likes it that way. it’s the beat that’s “important”, and he can’t play an instrument. he wants to be deep, and his fans are just sheep.
Track Name: i'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world (psychogenic ambient mix by thermidor)
hey, I remember some of you. I remember you were there, there when it all began, there when I sucked. I even remember some of you from that time that I was all bitter and angry. am I angry now? do you see me yelling and talking shit? look how things have worked out. here I am, It-Clings, actually rock n' roll supergod It-Clings king of the jews, saviour of all mankind, and in case you haven't heard, I am the fucking shit. from everything I've been hearing, from everything my yes-men and oh yeah, yes-sluts have been telling me, I'm the biggest fucking thing in the whole fucking world. yeah, that's right. you know, I didn't believe them at first either, but I've got to listen to what they say! they assure me that they are never wrong! and now you men out there are probably wondering what it's all about, being me, and you women out there are probably wondering how my fucking cock tastes... but you'll have time to find out soon enough, just don't push ahead in the line bitches, don't be fucking rude, there's enough of this to go around, you will all get your turn... yeah, that's right, there's even enough for some of you men too, the young cute ones. fuck it, what do I care. it would be a crime to keep this from you. so now that you're not so distracted by the immediate needs of your aching throbbing genitals you've got some time now to sit back and daydream more about me and wonder what it's like to have passed from mortal piece of shit drunk pissant into what now manifests itself before you, super-supremo arch-bad-ass-mother fucker It-Clings. well, that would be a little hard to explain and you're tiny minds might not be able to even handle the details. let me just sum it up this way, it's awesome, it's pretty good, it's better than nothing. but I hear you silently chanting, "how did this all happen? how did this all happen? how did this all happen?" what propelled me beyond the constrictions of mere mortality? before you all start guessing, emailing in your speculations and filling chat rooms with more bullshit gossip let me just cut to the chase, I auto-erota-theismed myself! yeah, you heard me. it's a mouthful I know. so let me say it again, I auto-erota-theismed myself! I worked it and I worked it and oh yeah, I worked the little bastard over and over again and then one fucking day, I totally wanked myself right into super-godness. did you hear me? I jerked myself out of the mortal realm and into that of godliness. yeah, that's right, I masturbated myself right out of existence and into a new existence. but let me tell you, it was no simple task, do you think that sort of thing is easy? I mean, I was pulling the living fuck out of my cock, I was doing something really fucking special, all the while having this massive big fucking red beast of a dildo shoved up my ass and I think several vibrators going and yeah, maybe something clamped onto my nipples. don't ask me why, but there it was. and the shot, when it came, sent me right to the top of olympia, if you know what I'm saying. and yes, it was the purifying perfect glorious shot of self-immaculization, although what I squirted onto my chest and face wasn't quite so immaculate, but it did feel soo good. cleared up some acne as well, keeps my face toned and looking so young. so there you go, that's the whole damned story in a nut-shell. so now you're probably wondering why the fuck you're still standing around like douche-bags and not busy somewhere masturbating yourself? you probably foolishly think that you're special enough to become a god, and that you know how to masturbate and that you're willing to give the whole fucking thing a try, and I can't say I don't blame you. I encourage you, to be honest. do it anywhere you want for all I care. let's start the dream squirting right here and now. do it in the streets or at work or on fucking chat roulette for everyone? to bear witness to. this cd's pretty much over mother fuckers. fuck all of this, there's much better things to do. but don't ask anybody to help you, do you really think they know what they're doing? and can they compare to me anyway? do the job right, do it yourself.